Lost in Her eyes.

Just today, I was commenting to my brother about the differences I have felt between raising my two boys and daughter. I was sharing how with my boys, I had a sense of pride, a boastful. chest-sticking out kind of beaming. I have always enjoyed both of my boys... Watching them grow, dressing them in little work boots with jeans and a flannel shirt - accentuating the "man factor" as they grew. I was not at all prepared for the complete change of emotion with my little girl. I still thoroughly enjoy her. I enjoy the endless attention she receives as we go anywhere there are people. I enjoy getting her dressed up in a cute little outfit with her hair pulled up into those two little "spouts" as I've learned they're called... But there is something else. A new added factor that has taken me off to a land unknown... Those who know me are aware of my "quirks" my many idiosyncrasies and phobias which I hold near and dear to my heart. I hold close to my oddities which have set me apart from so many and given many people fodder to be entertained at my expense for many years now. I have discovered lately, that my sweet, beautiful little girl has worked right passed my defenses, has trumped my "quirks" and not given me the option to fight against it. I have discovered that there are worlds... an endless universe... which resides in the eyes of that little girl. I am taken to a place in which my world is turned around, absorbed into a state opposite to that which I have clung to and formed over the years leaving me vulnerable to whatever she needs me to be. It's like being hypnotized. Then, after the hypnotist claps his hands, people talk about what you've done but you can't remember doing it. My wife teases me as she catches me in the little moments when I'm hypnotized into doing something out of character, but then tells me how good it is too, reflecting on all of the things which her father did when she was young. I only hope that this bewitching little girl of whom I am so smitten, can someday reflect on on the goofy, silly things that her Daddy did when she was younger and know, that it was all for her....

It aint all about the pictures...

Sometimes in this life, we've got to take the hard road. This is the moment you realize that change is not something you can avoid any longer. This is the joy of progression. It's not as easy as one thinks to avoid the need to change and stretch beyond yourself to new heights. It's not easy to feel the rejection or resistance you encounter as people who surround you try to push you back into your spot. Cause after all, if you're changing, that can be pretty inconvenient for those who have to make room for the new you. They're used to the "old you" and they may not be as excited to have the new one. (at least not yet) So, how... How does one cope with the stress of change? By trusting that the new you is a better one. By having faith in yourself that you can endure. That by having faith in the Lord, He'll help you through. So simple.... Yeah, right! I have often found myself lost, "somewhere in the middle". I know what is right, know pretty much what is wrong and live somewhere between the two. I realize that my predicament is not unique, not by a long shot, but that only shows me that I really do need to figure it out. So here I sit, pondering the mysteries of life's lesson and wondering how the #@$! am I gonna do it?! I'm learning that each little step in the right direction turns on a new light, A night light, that helps me just a little farther on my journey through the dark. Not to sound so negative, cause I've got a great life. But, it seems fitting to talk as if in the dark. So tomorrow, when I awake I will be one step closer to the light I seek, but the dark will still be there right beside me. Trying ever harder to thwart my next advance...

"Boy, first the mouse ran out of the house, then the bird flew away... Now, this darn puddle comes out of nowhere! What else can go wrong today?!

"The Source of my Agida"

Many of you have seen my "free" truck from my brother.... I have been heard many times saying"free is ALWAYS good"! I am half tempted to rethink my current stance on "free". My Brother bought this truck with 5,000 miles on it at about a year old in 1995. Now I feel impressed to share a little bit about this brother... he has NOT had the best history of taking care of vehicles in his possession. Anyhow, this truck was actually his Changing point. (well, sort of) This one he actually kept clean and maintained regularly. The klinker was that the truck liked to have "issues". Now, me, being the younger brother fell in love a bit with this ole girl. After having very expensive repairs covered under warranty for about three years, it ran well for a while until about 2003. Then, "IT" happened. The very expensive repair came back. Only this time, the warranty wasn't there to cover it. My brother, holding true to his former self, decided that time would heal better than money. FOUR YEARS LATER, time had only faded the paint... Deciding to be noble, my brother was going to donate this "awesome truck". That is to give it to some Undeserving charity to help build homes or something to the poor.... Yeah, THAT'S charitable.... So, right before the big call, he say's " Oh, I didn't think of it till now.... But did YOU want it"? " Well it was about time!!" I thought. All those covetous prayers finally paid off! All he wanted was for me to give something to that, that "charity" to still help those homeless people. Well as luck would have it, I had a car to get rid of anyway so everything worked out GREAT! Well, it was SUPPOSED to any way... First, the BIG expense turned out not being big. It was just a small pump for the fuel to reach the motor like $200.00. YIPEE!! blessings come from the funniest places, or do they? I was so happy I went all out... New brakes and rotors, some lighting problems, change all the fluids ect... $700.00 After driving it a bit, the BIG problem returned... No, wait... Only a $400.00 part that's not bad cause it was FREE, right. Oops, I forgot the tires $600.00. OH, and the air conditioning clutch $150.00 and that ate the serpentine belt but that was cheap... Then I think the Big problem came up AGAIN.... NO,NO, false alarm. The pesky $400.00 part I bought didn't hold up. OH well, it was a gamble... But hey, for $700.00 I got one with a warranty!! Then the starter went... but that was only $165.00 and that's not bad... so now there's this funny sound coming from that darn air conditioner again but I'm sure it's nothing, cause after all FREE IS ALWAYS GOOD!!!

I'M IN!!!!!

At LAST!!! The ever awaited, truely procrastinated, sure to be ignore-ated Blog of Roo and his clan has been created!! What would cause you to sit on your ever squaring behind, dragging your finger back and forth, up and down and stare at this?? Well if I knew that I wouldn't be pecking away at midnight and rambling on like this for my debut blog... Yes, I can say it's great to be here in cyber space... alot more room than one would think. That will only allow me to spread my wings further and fly! FLY! Boy, it is late. So now that I am here, I am happy to say that in true " Roo" fashion, I have successfully LOST my first Blog posting... This is actually my second dogg-on posting because after previewing, I hit the "BACK" arrow and found that by doing so erased all of my masterpiece, the afore mentioned FIRST Blog. I only share this with you as a kind of therapy hoping to not repeat my mistake again... I know, "typical Blogger greenie! " some will say... BUT! I am a determined soul and I will continue foward! At least until I carlessly fall back again.... I hope I will continue to build on, to ripen with age and become as the greats to shout through the "Noisey Crowds" (with love) and end up a "Beautiful Mess". That is a lofty goal but I am ROO!! All things can be done (or at least talked about) and if that doesn't work I can always complain about it!! --Roo